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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932164">Again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinCkhera/pseuds/PrinCkhera'>PrinCkhera</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:27:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinCkhera/pseuds/PrinCkhera</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus didn't understand why this was happening to him. </p><p>He was done.<br/>He had done his part.<br/>He had prepared himself mentally for this moment for years. First with his father's violent ways, then service to the Dark Lord, and then in defiance of him. Whatever existed after Death would be what he deserved.</p><p>In no iteration of his musings of the Beyond did he think he would get a second chance.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Severus didn't understand why this was happening to him. </p><p>When Severus had closed his eyes that fateful day that would mark the end of his existence, it was supposed to be over.</p><p>He had often wondered what happened after death as he walked the line between a very sorry existence of a life and being buried six feet under. </p><p>He had pictured a hellish place where he would be tortured into eternity. He imagined blinking out of existence all together. Perhaps being reincarnated as an ant. Very rarely did he allow himself to think that he would see the very few people he had held close to his heart once. </p><p>When those particular thoughts came, they would plague his mind. The guilt would almost cripple him at times.</p><p>Those, and many other thoughts, needed to be put in a box and hidden somewhere just beyond reach. </p><p>The skill had kept him alive while he served two masters. A skill that made it possible for him to get out of bed in the morning and continue to fulfill all necessary functions to live.</p><p>In none of these musings did he ever consider opening his eyes to a beating from his father. </p><p>His very dead father.</p><p>Then again, maybe this was hell after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A short chapter to kick off the story. I've always loved the opportunity time travel has given to explore what could have been. I hope this story provides a compelling story that has a bit more fun with how everything could change, should Snape get another chance.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The thoughts racing through Severus’ mind occupied him. He was so lost in confusion that his body stopped responding to the violence. </p><p>Throughout his life, Severus had grown accustomed to pain. At the hands of those that were supposed to protect him, and those that abhorred him. A human being can adapt very quickly, and apparently when all you’ve known is pain… Well, that’s that then.</p><p>Severus considered that perhaps this is what his hell was truly like. Cycling through his life, reliving his worst moments.</p><p>Yet, something inside him told him there was something off about that thought. He just couldn’t quite put his finger on what exactly it was.</p><p>When in doubt, take stock of yourself and your surroundings. So, that’s what he did.</p><p>He could tell, objectively, that his body was in pain. Severus realised that at some point, he had closed his eyes. Screwed them shut. </p><p>When he opened them again, he once again saw the man he thought he’d never see again. A ghost of his past that he had buried with the many others. </p><p>He could feel cold tiles beneath him, and see broken glass surrounding him. </p><p>Beer bottles.</p><p>The colour of the tiles was a nauseating canary yellow.</p><p>So, he must have been in his kitchen at Spinner’s end.</p><p>When Tobias noticed that the boy he was taking his anger out on had stopped moving, stopped crying out for mercy, he stopped. The lack of continued abuse made Severus look at his … At this man who had made his childhood a living hell.</p><p>Without thinking it over twice, Severus saw into his mind. </p><p>He saw himself lying on the floor. </p><p>Bloody. </p><p>Gangly. </p><p>Severus couldn’t exactly tell how old he looked, or which of his father’s beatings this was supposed to be an exact replica of. Curiosity getting the better of him, he looked into this man’s mind further.</p><p>The loathing, self-hatred and general apathy he found there was unsurprising.</p><p>The cold look in Severus’ eyes as he analysed what exactly he’d gotten himself into made Tobias flinch. </p><p>A flicker of worry he might have gone too far. A flicker he squashed into nothingness.</p><p>“What are you looking at boy?” he snarled. </p><p>The voice brought Severus out of his stupor and once again he looked at the man in front of him. </p><p>Unbidden, the words he’d never dared utter to this monster came out of his mouth:</p><p>“A piece of trash that never learned to keep his hands to himself” he somehow got out.</p><p>At least, that’s what he tried to say before he blacked out and knew no more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So. This happened. I feel sorry for Severus.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Severus woke again, he was surrounded by darkness. He could feel the coldness of the tiles on the side of his cheek. He could feel the pain in his abdomen and his legs, as well as the beginning of what would surely become a black eye. His head hurt. </p><p> He tried to get up, but the pain in his body wouldn't let him. When he turned to look to the side, he saw a glass of water and some medicine. </p><p> Pathetic, he thought.</p><p>After lying on the ground, working up the energy to somehow get up, Severus tried to stand on his own two feet.</p><p>In doing so, he hurt his hands further on the glass still lying on the ground.</p><p>Eventually, he stood and was able to see his kitchen. Or at least what it used to look like before he redid the house once he took ownership of it.</p><p>
  <i>Disgusting.</i>
</p><p>Just the act of standing took energy he didn't have. A wave of dizziness hit him. He felt disoriented, and he could barely see what was in front of him.</p><p>Looking out the window, he could tell it must be night.</p><p>He didn't fully understand what was going on, but his mind wouldn't let him go over everything. Right now, it was vital for him to get his bearing.</p><p>As he took one step after another, he exited the kitchen. On his way, nausea tried to overwhelm him, but he pushed it down. He ignored the sitting room. Whatever this place was, if it really was a replica of his worst moments, then his father must have been passed out drunk on the couch.</p><p>He climbed the stairs and went into his room. What he needed right now was rest. To truly rest, he needed safety, but his room would have to do. Although he wanted to leave the house, who knew what was out there.</p><p>The moment he entered his room, he collapsed on his bed and closed his eyes. </p><p>A respite. However short it may be.</p><p>The sound of words exchanged in anger woke him. When Severus opened his eyes again, he took stock of the situation. </p><p>He was hurt. Despite the pain, he didn't think anything was really broken. His wounds might be infected, so he needed to disinfect them as soon as possible. </p><p>His father was here. The medicine indicated that his mother was here as well. As did the raised voices downstairs. Since she was still alive, whatever he woke up to must be before 1978. The fact that Severus was at his house in Spinner's End means it must be the summer holidays. </p><p>He needed more information.</p><p>Slowly he sat up in his bed and looked outside the window. The sun had risen, though it hardly made any difference with how dreary Spinner's End tended to be.</p><p>As he sat on his bed, he closed his eyes and went into his mind. He needed to know if he still had access to his magic in this place. </p><p>The longer it took to find that spark within him, the more he started to lose any sense of composure he'd held on to.  </p><p>Eventually, though, he found it. He touched it in his mind's eye, and it burst within him. So much brighter than he ever remembered it being.</p><p>When he opened his eyes again, the sun outside had set. He wasn't sure how long he'd spent inwards, but he came back replenished. With energy, he didn't know he'd had.</p><p>He looked at his hands, and they were no longer wounded. His face no longer hurt, and his body no longer felt like a walking bruise.</p><p>The sound of the door slamming shut caught his attention. Soon a voice said to come down and have dinner.</p><p>His mother.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What do you all think? Can you guess when exactly he woke up?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He went into the kitchen and sat down at the dining table. A small wooden thing that was meant for two people at its maximum capacity.</p><p>His mother was sitting there already. There wasn’t much on the table, but enough for two. Some potatoes and beans. A glass of water. </p><p>Although she held the cutlery in her hands, she hadn’t touched the food yet. </p><p>She had waited for him.</p><p>Looking at her and actually seeing her are two very different things, he realised.</p><p>Growing up he would look at her and see a failure. </p><p>Someone who was meant to protect him but never did. Someone who couldn’t even protect herself. Someone who didn’t have the strength to walk away.</p><p>Now that he was sitting in front of her, he felt like he was seeing her for the first time. Although she seemed numb to everything, he could tell that she was holding herself together by a very fine thread. A bruise on her cheek. The slight tremble of her hands as she held on to the cutlery. </p><p>Her inability to look him in the eye.</p><p>Whatever this place may be, whoever may have brought him here, one thing was clear. If their goal was to torment him with his failures, then they had been doing fairly decent thus far.</p><p>A man that had seemed larger than life growing up, until he learned the lines monsters were able to cross. </p><p>A woman who failed him, and who he failed in turn. </p><p>There were moments growing up when the scraps of affection she gave would make his grey world seem bright. Until he met Lily, Eileen Snape was the only person who’d gifted him a smile. However rare it may have been.</p><p>Then he met Lily Evans who never held back on her smile. She just shone so brightly, it completely took over his dreary world.  </p><p>Then he went to Hogwarts.</p><p>He left his mother behind, and moved on. </p><p>And he never saw that smile again.</p><p>Even if she had failed him, he thought he’d had time. Time to someday take her away. Because despite his desire to oftentimes burn their little house at Spinner’s End to the ground, she was still his mother. And she cared. In whatever capacity she was capable of. He was running short on people who did.</p><p>Then he came back one summer to an empty house. </p><p>Well, almost empty. His father was lying drunk on the couch. His mother nowhere to be seen.</p><p>They said it had been an accident. That she had walked down the stairs and slipped when Tobias Snape wasn’t home. That she’d lied there on the ground for hours before her husband came back and stumbled over her corpse. That it was truly tragic, and unfortunate indeed.</p><p>The sound of a knife and fork scratching against the plate brought Severus out of his thoughts. He picked up the cutlery and started to eat. Healing himself the way he had made him ravenous. </p><p>While Eileen may not have had the courage to look her son in the eyes at first, the rapid way Severus ate his meal clearly surprised her.</p><p>Severus could tell the moment his mother took a look at him and saw his face. The slight widening of her eyes was enough for Severus to tell that she noticed his distinct lack of injuries.</p><p>If there was any rapport between them, then perhaps she would have had the courage to ask how. Except they didn’t, so she didn’t.</p><p>Soon Severus finished his meal.</p><p>He stayed at the table and tried doing something he’d given up on years ago.</p><p>“Why do you stay?” he asked.</p><p>The sudden question made her flinch. He could see her fingers tightening on the cutlery.</p><p>He waited. </p><p>And waited.</p><p>If he gave up now, he could tell he wouldn’t have the chance to do this again. Whether this was an illusion or not, he had kept this question inside him throughout his childhood. He’d never had the chance to ask her while she was still there. Even if she was a projection of his imagination he still needed to know.</p><p>Probably noticing that Severus wouldn’t budge, Eileen slowly put her cutlery down. She picked up her glass of water and drank.</p><p>Severus waited.</p><p>“Because I don’t have anywhere else to go” she finally said, looking him in the eye for the first time that evening.</p><p>Severus took that in and nodded. Then, “what about your parents?”</p><p>Another flinch. </p><p>This time she didn’t speak. He hadn’t expected her to. That she’d answered his first question at all was surprising enough in and of itself.</p><p>“Leave”.</p><p>The fear in her eyes at his words was heartbreaking. Well, it would have been if Severus felt he’d had a heart in the first place.</p><p>They sat in silence.</p><p>“I won’t - I can’t. You’re leaving tomorrow for Hogwarts. You have somewhere to go. I don’t” she said. It sounded like something she’d rehearsed. Something she’d said to herself often.</p><p>
  <i>Hogwarts?</i>
</p><p>As he considered her statement, Eileen got up and took away the dishes. Now that Severus could see her get up, he could see that he was walking with a slight limp.</p><p>Putting aside his confusion for the moment he stood up and went to the kitchen sink. He started cleaning the dishes one by one. </p><p>Eileen stayed in the kitchen. Her breathing had become uneven, and a glance back told Severus that perhaps he should have been a bit more subtle in his questioning. Eileen’s breathing had sped up, her pupils were blown wide, and she was holding onto the kitchen chair to keep herself upright.</p><p>“Listen. When I say breathe in- breath in. When I say hold your breath, hold it. And when I say let it go, let it go.”</p><p>Not hearing a response he stopped cleaning the dishes for a moment and looked at Eileen, his mother. </p><p>“Breathe with me” he said.</p><p>“Breath in, 1-2-3-4. Hold, 1-2-3-4. Breathe out, 1-2-3-4. Hold, 1-2-3-4.” And Severus repeated that for 4 cycles.</p><p>Eventually he could hear Eileen sync up with his breaths, and he went back to doing the dishes. He continued the count.</p><p>Once he’d finished cleaning, he also stopped counting.</p><p>One look at Eileen made it clear that at least she wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack anymore.</p><p>“I’ll go and pack my bags” he told her.</p><p>Before Eileen could say anything else, he left her standing in the kitchen. Out of the periphery of his eyes he could see her collapse into the kitchen chair.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A longer chapter this time. Was feeling a bit inspired. I really want to get to the actual "I cannot believe I have a  second chance" part, but Severus needs a bit more time to even consider that's a possibility. Hopefully he'll get there soon though.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Back in his room, Severus sat on his bed. She’d said <i>Hogwarts</i>. Which means that he should pack his trunk.</p><p>Looking around the room, he could tell that his trunk was already packed. Likely in line with every summer back from Hogwarts when he was younger, he always packed his bags early. Ready to leave. He couldn’t wait to go back home— his real home.</p><p>Severus sighed in frustration. He needed to figure out what was going on. Whether this was the afterlife torturing him or his imagination. Whatever it was.</p><p>He got up and went to the bathroom. As he stared into eyes that never shied away from him before, he was left speechless.</p><p>He didn’t remember ever being this… Gangly. The strands of hair on his head were a mess. A bit greasy. Unclear how long it’d been since he last washed it. Though it would hardly have made much of a difference. Chapped lips. </p><p>He looked at his hands and noticed they were stained with ink. </p><p>The threadbare clothes on his body were hanging off of his frame. Clearly underfed. </p><p>Staring at himself, he was sure that when he was actually whatever this age is, he’d never paid much attention to himself. Too busy wallowing in despair and self-hatred. Being exactly the type of teenager, he grew to detest as he taught them one after the other over the years. So self-obsessed. As though the world revolved around them. So stuck in their own pain, unable to see those around them.</p><p>He took a deep breath in and let it out. All he could do was proceed as though he was readying himself for Hogwarts. In line with his past, he prepared himself. A cold shower because it wouldn’t heat up. New-old clothes. His cloak. </p><p>Severus went back to bed and lay down. Like every time the night before leaving, he waited with anticipation. At least Eileen’s words meant that he would be able to leave this cursed place.</p><p>Although what awaited him was unclear.</p><p>An indeterminate amount of time later, he heard a knock at his door. He stood up and started walking towards his door.</p><p>His mother. </p><p>Here to take him to the train station. She must have been able to tell that the Evans family would likely not take him this time as they had the past few years.</p><p>
  <i>Wait</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Evans.</i>
</p><p><i>Lily</i>.</p><p>Severus’ eyes widened. <i>Lily</i>. How could he have forgotten about her? What if she’s here? </p><p>His hands started shaking, and all of a sudden, he couldn’t breathe anymore. As though he’d lost the ability to.</p><p>All he could see were green eyes. So green. Without any light in them.</p><p>He was shaking. He needed to stop seeing them, but he couldn’t make himself.</p><p>As he spiralled, he heard a voice say, “follow my lead. Breathe in, 1-2-3-4. Hold, 1-2-3-4. Come on, Severus, breathe! Breathe out, 1-2-3-4. Hold, 1-2-3-4.”</p><p>Eventually, his breathing slowed. He gained some semblance of control. </p><p>Warm hands held him as he calmed down.</p><p>“Come on, let’s go,” she told him. Severus didn’t think he’d ever heard her voice be that gentle. </p><p>She shrank his trunk and held his hand as she took him out of the house. Severus, too struck by surprise at these actions, didn’t say a word.</p><p>There are very few times in his life that he’s been so lost for words. </p><p>As she held out her wand, she called for the Knight Bus. As they waited, she squeezed his hand and let go.</p><p>A sense of loss. How he could possibly feel that for something he’d given up on, something he couldn’t even name, he didn’t understand.</p><p>Before he could say anything else, the bus arrived. </p><p>She gave Severus his trunk, paid the Knight Bus conductor and left. Without a glance back.</p><p>Severus closed his eyes and entered the bus. </p><p>Breathe in, 1-2-3-4. Hold, 1-2-3-4. Breathe out, 1-2-3-4. Hold, 1-2-3-4. Breathe in, 1-2-3-4…</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hogwarts!!!</p><p>Also for anyone interested, the breathing technique used is a 4 count box breath meditation.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"King's Cross station!"</p><p>Severus was early. Unsurprising, but excessively early even for him. </p><p>Often in his past, he would be the first to arrive at Platform 9 3/4. At least, when Lily and her family stopped bringing him to the station.</p><p><i>Lily</i>.</p><p>The thought of her was almost crippling. Severus didn't quite know what to do with himself. If this replay kept going, did that mean she was here as well? But was that what was going on here in the first place?</p><p>He took a deep breath, found a bench to sit on and waited at the station. The portal to enter Platform 9 3/4 wouldn't open for another few hours. It was still dark outside, and the sun hadn't even considered rising yet.</p><p>Lily would have to wait. </p><p>Severus couldn't risk breaking down again, at least for the moment. Whatever happened, he would find out soon enough. </p><p>Since his mother had returned the trunk to its original size when he'd got on the bus, he decided to open it temporarily and take out one of his journals. He needed to pass the time somehow until there was some indication that the platform's portal was open.</p><p>Hours passed, and Severus lost himself in his own notes. Seeing the date of the last entry, Severus paused. </p><p>
  <i>1976.</i>
</p><p>16.</p><p>He was 16.</p><p>Merlin. </p><p>Today would be the first day of his 6th year at Hogwarts.</p><p>If this was a rerun of his most torturous moments, then this was a pretty good age. But if this was the case, would whoever put him here bother with these quiet moments in between? Would he have been able to have a conversation - or approximate imitation of one - with his mother? Would he be able to feel his magic burn within, waiting to leash out?</p><p>Answers. Severus needed answers.</p><p>As Severus considered his very existence, time continued to pass. Soon the sun rose, and the station became more crowded.</p><p>Soon, Severus could feel the pull of magic towards the portal. Unsure how he knew that that was precisely what it was, Severus stood at its entrance and walked through. </p><p>He was the first to arrive at Platform 9 3/4. In front of him was the train that would soon bring him back home. </p><p>Hopefully.</p><p>Severus went towards the train, found a compartment and made himself at home. His hands had never let go of the journal he was reading outside, and he decided to read it through again. </p><p>He wanted to distract himself. Lose himself in the recipes and spells he'd been inventing once upon a time. But his mind was spinning and wouldn't let him.</p><p>He'd noticed on his way to the station that everything looked familiar. If his memory wasn't failing him, he wouldn't be surprised to say it was an exact replica. Then again, he didn't really tend to pay that much attention to his surroundings, so he couldn't be sure. Not like he did now after years of doing precisely that to survive. </p><p>Now, he felt as though he was going through the motions. Just like he had when he was younger.</p><p>Except he'd gone off-script. </p><p>At least with his mother, he had. After the first year of dropping him off at the station, he didn't remember her ever bothering to help him again get to the station. </p><p>From his second year onwards, the Evans family would.  Until they stopped doing so. </p><p>Or perhaps he just never felt the courage to ask after Lily stopped being friends with him. He had just assumed they wouldn't bother now that Severus had fallen out of Lily's favour.</p><p>Perhaps if he'd asked, they would still have helped him, and he wouldn't have struggled as much as he had just to go back to Hogwarts. To go back home.</p><p>Then again, he had never been the type to ask for help. With hindsight, he could see that. </p><p>Was his panic when his mother opened the door the reason she decided to help? Was it because he'd actually spoken with her before?</p><p>So many maybes and what-ifs he didn't allow himself to consider before flashed through his mind.</p><p>As Severus was lost in thought, the platform had slowly started filling with students and their families. The noise broke Severus out of his reverie. Unsure of where his thoughts had begun leading him, he decided to shelve them for now. They wouldn't go anywhere.</p><p>This was a time before people had started disappearing. Not that much before, but still. He could tell there was tension amongst the parents as they held on to their children. Yet, not genuine fear. If anything, right now, Hogwarts would be the safest place for them. </p><p>The platform filled. The clock ticked second by second, minute by minute. Soon enough, it would strike 11, and this train would leave.</p><p>Severus let himself soak in the sheer life around him. It didn't matter if it was all in his head. Compared to what he had left behind before his death, this place was buzzing with magic, life and energy.</p><p>Even if he couldn't sense magic the way he did now before, it doesn't mean he was oblivious to its almost sentient existence. </p><p>Now, his veins thrummed with it.</p><p>He let himself lose himself in it until he saw red hair calling to him like a beacon amongst the crowd on the platform.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lily? Is that you?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A confused Severus</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A beat passed. </p><p>Severus couldn’t keep his eyes away from the sight before him.</p><p><i>Lily</i>.</p><p>She was here. Smiling. With her parents.</p><p>It was like looking at the sun. </p><p>Bright.</p><p>Burning.</p><p>He hadn’t let himself consider the possibility of her existence thus far. The possibility that she’d be alive. </p><p>Not really. </p><p>Now, seeing how she was practically vibrating with energy to go back to Hogwarts, made something inside Severus break.</p><p>Funny.</p><p>He hadn’t thought there was anything left to break.</p><p>Soon Severus lost sight of her amongst the crowded platform. But, he knew what he’d seen. </p><p>He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.</p><p>Severus took out his wand and cast a spell that would act as a repellant for anyone curious enough to open his compartment. What he needed most right now, was to go over the mess he’d gotten himself into. Alone.</p><p>He couldn’t discount the possibility that this was a hellish re-enactment of his mistakes. His regrets. That maybe they would be cyclical in nature and he wouldn’t be able to escape the inevitable. But he also couldn’t discount the possibility that maybe, just maybe something else was going on here.</p><p>The main sources of evidence he had for the latter hypothesis were twofold. One was simply that fleeting conversation with his mother. The other was the magic within. It had never shined as bright as it did now within him. This was not enough to draw any significant conclusions.</p><p>He needed to test his theories and keep a close eye on the course of how events will unfold.</p><p>If there was any chance at all that he’d somehow gone back to 1976 then… Then he had a lot of thinking to do on how to proceed. Whether he was going to step in his past self’s shoes and make all the same mistakes. Or whether he was going to finally address the many instances that would end up becoming ghosts and nightmares that would haunt him to his dying breath.</p><p>That Severus hadn’t really slept for an extended period of time caught up with him, and he nodded off as he mused at the sheer possibility of having a second chance.</p><p>No matter that he didn’t truly believe he would ever be fortunate enough to receive one.</p><p>Soon the train arrived at its destination, and Severus woke up from his impromptu nap. As the train slowed to a stop and students started to depart, Severus got up and changed into his robes. It would seem that his spell held and no one had bothered him for the duration of the trip.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Apologies for the delay in updates! I've had this written out, but university got the best of me. Let's see how long it takes for Severus to accept what's right in front of him.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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